


What a Wicked Thing, to Make Me Dream of You

by memoriesofrain



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull - Freeform, Angry Cullen, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Archon Dorian, Attempted Seduction, Corypheus tempts Dorian with his heart's desire, Corypheus' name was Sethius, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorian Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Fade Demons, Gen, Kink Meme, M/M, Poor Dorian, Protective Iron Bull, Psychological Trauma, Seduction to the Dark Side, Skyhold's inhabitants are mean to Dorian, Tevinter Imperium, The Fade, Vomiting, Yes you read that right, briefly, but not at Dorian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:45:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8486362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoriesofrain/pseuds/memoriesofrain
Summary: Dorian woke up surrounded by black silk with a heavy arm around his waist. He has a husband, children, his father's love, the Tevinter Imperium has been reformed, he's Archon... It's like waking up in a Ferelden fairytale.But of course it isn't all as it seems. Why would it ever be that way for Dorian?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [THIS PROMPT ](http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/11864.html?thread=46673496#t46673496) messed me up something fierce and I couldn't get it out of my head, so I wrote it. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Title is inspired by the song Wicked Games (I've been listening to a cover by Ursine Vulpine ft Annaca)

He woke up surrounded by black silk with a heavy arm around his waist. His body, sore in a way that could only be from a night of debauchery. Dorian lazily blinked his eyes to clear them from sleep. Where…?

“Are you awake now, Amatus?”

The whispered words tickled his ear and Dorian couldn’t help the shudder that went through him. The man, because that was most definitely a cock pressing into the flesh of his backside, chuckled and placed a kiss behind his ear.

“You are so beautiful,” the man said, mouthing at the column of Dorian’s neck.

A pleased hum escaped him and he turned his head to look at the man who was endearing him so. Who… Ah. “Sethius,” Dorian sighed. “You flatter me too much.”

Sethius shook his head. “All the praise in the world would never be enough to truly begin to appreciate your beauty.”

Dorian felt his cheeks flush, but quickly slanted their mouths together. Their lips brushed and parted in a well-rehearsed motion, tongues brushing only briefly to tease one another. Dorian slid his hands up into Sethius’ hair, relishing in the soft, thick waves that lied neatly on his head. A pity his hair wasn’t like that.

As air became sparse, the two reluctantly pulled away. They panted against each other’s mouths and Dorian felt a warmth building in his belly. “Festis bei umo canavarum.”

Sethius hummed softly, trailing his fingers across Dorian’s collarbone. “I should hope not, I would garner the wrath of the Imperium if I did that.”

Dorian’s eyebrows furrowed. “The Imperium?”

“Of course,” Sethius cupped his cheek. “You’re their most beloved emperor.”

Dorian wanted to protest and insist that it wasn’t possible, but found his words dead on his tongue. His mind began recalling events, filling in areas he didn’t remember. The day he stood at Sethius’ side and declared that Tevinter had conquered at long last, that the Imperium was the undisputed champion of all of Thedas. He remembered the day he was elected Archon.

At the time he had been worried the Magisterium and the people of Tevinter would impeach him within the first month, or at least have an assassination attempt. But he was met with glowing approval and high praise from those he met. An Altus of his caliber, who’d helped bring the Imperium back to its former glory and power. He was beloved, people sending him gifts and firstborn sons who were willing to sign their lives away at a chance to serve him.

But Dorian was a benevolent leader. He made sure to return the kindness shown to him unto the people of the Imperium. He got paid wages for slaves and ensured that families stayed together. He made sure the Soporati didn’t have to sell themselves into slavery to afford to live, personally requesting products from those who were struggling and paying them extra as a show of gratitude. He visited young mages preparing for the Harrowing and he gave them as much advice as he could. Tranquility was a last resort if not ever used, as Sethius was able to direct demons out of a mage where they’d be dealt with if they failed the Harrowing. The once possessed mage would then be brought to a circle that would focus on resisting demons and if all else failed, they would become a warrior or rogue.

“Are you alright, Amatus?” Sethius asked.

Dorian shook his head lightly to leave his train of thought. He was awfully out of it this morning. “Yes of course, I’m just a bit out of sorts, nothing to worry about,” Dorian reassured.

Sethius smirked and let his hand slid down Dorian’s face and down his neck and chest before stopping at his nipple, circling it lazily with a finger. “Was I perhaps too rough with you last night?”

Dorian snorted but it quickly dissolved into a breathy moan as Sethius pinched the bud. “You know how I like it.”

Sethius hummed. “I do indeed.” The man quickly dropped his head down to Dorian’s chest and mouthed at the neglected nipple as he pinched the other. Dorian groaned and arched his chest into Sethius’ touch. “Do you like that, Amatus?”

Dorian pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and threw his head back at a particular hard tug. “Venhedis, Sethius!”

The other man grinned around a mouthful of Dorian’s breast before he disconnected with a pop. The trail of saliva that connected his nipple and Sethius’ mouth shouldn’t have been as arousing as it was. Sethius rubbed his thumb across the reddened flesh before sitting up.

“Unfortunately, the real world awaits, my sweet.”

“Must we?”

Sethius chuckled. “If you want to see our children before attending to our other duties of the day, then yes.”

Dorian’s heart sped up. “Children?”

Sethius looked at him curiously. “Aulus and Liana? Our children? Amatus, are you sure you’re quite well?”

Children. He had children. What did they look like? Where did they come from? Children. Did they like him? Sethius had said they were _their_ children. He had children with the man he loved. “Can we go-“

“See them? That’s where we’re off to next once we’re dressed.”

Dorian finally took in their state of undress and felt pleased that they were both so relaxed around each other. He stared with unabashed lust at the muscular flesh of Sethius’ back as the man wandered around the room picking out clothes for the day. Deciding he couldn’t delay getting dressed any longer he too went looking for clothes.

He found robes upon robes in different cuts, cloths, and colors and chose a robe made of black silk like the sheets with gold accents. The robes clung to his chest and waist and flared slightly at his hips, giving him a softer appearance that contrasted with his sharp features. He found jewelry beside his wardrobe and pulled a septum ring as well as two hoops for his ears along with an array of gold rings for his hands. He reached for his kohl but was interrupted by Sethius’ hand grabbing a different stick.

“Allow me to dress you up for the occasion.” Sethius tilted Dorian’s head up gently and smiled at him. “It is not often you let me paint your eyes, but I think you deserve to be pampered today.”

Dorian hummed appreciatively but didn’t move as Sethius began to draw a line along his eyelid. Sethius worked methodically but quickly and all too soon the man was done with a final flick of his wrist. Dorian blinked his eyes to get accustomed to the makeup before focusing back onto Sethius. “How do I look?”

Sethius breath hitched. “You are a vision, Amatus. If I did not know better I’d think that you were Urthemiel given human form.”

Dorian chuckled. “The Dragon of Beauty?”

“An Old God worthy of being associated with you.”

Dorian smiled before clapping his hands once. “Enough flattery, we need to see the children.”

“Of course, they’re probably dying to see us.”

“Naturally.”

 

* * *

 

The walk from their room was eventful. Servants bowed and wished them a good day, two Magisters had come to ask his opinion on re-educating the ex-Saarebas that had recently arrived, and one of Mae’s servants had told him he was invited for tea next week. It seemed like such a short time ago that people were avoiding him like the plague and holding themselves back from spitting on him. Or if in Skyhold, making it known that he was not wanted. It was a nice change.

“Papa!” Two shrieks startled him before two small bodies collided with his own. If Sethius’ arm hadn’t come out to steady him, he would have tumbled to the ground.

Dorian looked on in awe at the affectionate children suddenly encircling his waist. Thick, wavy hair as dark as his own sat unruly on their heads, much like his own when not tamed. The boy, Aulus had Sethius paler skin while the girl, Liana had his own caramel coloring. Both of them had his beauty mark. He’d never seen such beautiful children before, and they were _his_. _Theirs_ he corrected himself. How was this even possible?

“Carissimi,” Dorian said, sweeping his children into his arms. He felt the warmth in his chest grow when they snuggled into his arms. “How are you both?”

The two children could only babble right now, true sentence structure would come with time, but Dorian made sure to listen to every word and sound they made as if it was a revelation. He nodded his head occasionally and kissed both of their heads when they were done talking.

“They were very well behaved last night.”

Dorian’s head shot up at the voice. There in front of him was his father. But something was different, softer. His back a little less straight, his smile a warmer, and his eyes shining with… love?

“They were?” Dorian asked, his voice coming out as a whisper. He wasn’t quite sure how to act in this situation.

Halward nodded his head. “Both of them are angels, Dorian.” The man sent him a smile. “One day, I know they’ll be as great as you.”

Dorian repressed the whimper that threatened to escape his throat and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. “T-thank you, Father.”

Halward reached his hand out to brush across his cheek. “My son, are you well?” Dorian nodded his head, careful not to jostle the children who were content in his arms. “You don’t seem like you are. You can tell me if something is bothering you.”

“I-“

“I think I overdid it last night,” Sethius said, giving Halward an almost sheepish smile. “We have been talking about more children and well…”

Dorian felt himself flush and gave Sethius a look. He knew the moment had been ruined, a comment like that would send Halward into a rant on the proper behavior for the heir of House Pavus. And what did his and Sethius’ sex life have to do with more children? Before he could think more on it, his father _laughed_. What was going on?

“The ritual may be an ancient one, but even it requires the basics of reproduction,” Halward said after his laughter had tapered off. “I hope your attempts were successful, I’m quite enjoying being a grandfather to these two already, more would be welcomed with open arms.”

Sethius smirked. “Well we won’t know for a while yet, but we’ll keep trying until then.”

“Make sure it sticks?”

“And then some.”

Dorian watched the exchange between the two with no small amount of confusion. Ritual? More children? His father cupped his cheek and placed a kiss on his forehead, just like he’d done when he was a child.

“If you are indeed having more children, rest well. You have to treat your body right. Don’t be afraid to take some time for yourself.” Halward smiled at the family. “But after today, today is a day of celebration.”

“Of course it is,” Sethius said, before turning his attention to the children in Dorian’s arms. “Say goodbye children.”

“Bye Atta,” the children said happily.

“Goodbye Aulus, goodbye Liana, be good for your parents,” Halward said kissing the children goodbye before walking away.

It felt like he’d woken up in one of those Ferelden fairytales. Dorian turned his attention to Sethius. “We’re having more children?” he asked.

“You insisted, and I loathe to deny you anything,” Sethius said, plucking Aulus from his arms and into his own. The sight of his son in his husband’s arms made his heart skip a beat.

 

* * *

 

Dorian sat in his throne, Sethius beside him, fingers twined with his own. Aulus and Liana were being held by his father who insisted that he needed his hands free for the celebration. What they were actually celebrating was a mystery to Dorian, but he enjoyed the liveliness of the event. Fine wine was being dished out to all patrons and fresh fruits lined the tables. Meats and breads and pastries were also spread out across the tables, but Dorian was favoring the fruit.

“Would you like another grape, Archon?” a servant asked.

“If you would be so kind,” Dorian said, opening his mouth slightly to accept the pealed fruit. The grape was sweet and tart, the perfect combination to get his taste buds tingling. “Another if you would… Rilienus?”

“Yes, Archon?” Rilienus asked.

“You’re… a servant?”

Rilienus nodded. “By choice of course, I needed to pledge myself to you.” He must have seen Dorian’s hesitant look because he continued. “It is my honor to be able to provide even something so simple to you, Dorian.”

Dorian felt a little better at the reassurance but looked away from Rilienus to the other servants. Now that he looked closer, a lot of the servants looked like men he’d fallen into bed with while he was a teenager gallivanting from one bed to another.

Before he could tarry on the observation any longer Sethius stood up and cleared his throat. As if by magic, the room went silence. It showed how much power Sethius truly held. Quite attractive really.

“Today we celebrate,” Sethius said, his voice echoing across the room. His words got a few cheers which he smiled at and waited patiently to continue. “On this day, two years ago, our Archon, my husband, took the first steps in bring the Imperium back to its former glory.” The cheers were a bit louder this time and Dorian sent them a touched smile. They loved him. “It was not easy and how he managed to hide his loyalties in that place is beyond most of us.” Dorian preened, he always did appreciate it when someone complemented his intellect. “But today we celebrate the anniversary of the day Archon Dorian betrayed the Inquisition and joined me in the restoration of the Tevinter Imperium.”

The cheers that followed fell on deaf ears as Dorian stared at Sethius in horror. “What?” He asked, his voice no more than a puff of air, but the other man heard him.

Sethius lowered himself to kneel at Dorian’s feet, eyes meeting his. His supposed husband reached out and took both of his hands in his. “Amatus, don’t you see?” Sethius asked.

Dorian shook his head. “What is going on?”

“All of this,” he turned his head to either side, “being welcomed back to the Tevinter Imperium with open arms, people who love you, worship the ground you walk, a family, children of your own flesh and blood, your father’s love, an attentive husband. You can have it all, Dorian of House Pavus.”

As the list got longer Dorian felt his heart ache for it. He wanted to be loved, to be cherished, to have his father’s love and approval. He wanted people to respect him and not spit at him or turn away in fear. He wanted a family and a husband. He wanted so badly.

“All you have to do, Amatus,” Sethius brought Dorian’s hands to his lips, “is join me.”

Dorian shivered. “And betray the Inquisition that’s trying to fix the world.”

Sethius’ eyes grew hard, but that quickly changed to pity. “But do they treat you like you could be treated if you joined me? Do they give you everything you desire? Do they not whisper behind your back, cast slander against you? Do they even care?”

Dorian couldn’t meet his eyes. It was true that he wasn’t treated the best in Skyhold, but he was sure they cared. “They do care.”

“And yet you hear their words, don’t you? Whispers of ‘that damned ‘Vint,’ and ‘maleficar,’ the whispers that you’ll slaughter the children first for your blood magic.” Dorian flinched, but Sethius continued. “That you’re waiting for the right moment to enslave the elves in Skyhold. That you think you’re so much better than they are. Or the inhabitants planning on poisoning your food and playing your death off as an unfortunate accident.”

Dorian pulled his hands away from the man and wrapped them around himself. “Shut. Up.”

Sethius stopped and brought one of his hands to cup Dorian’s cheek. “I just want to give you what you deserve.” Dorian shook his head and felt tears gather in his eyes. “All you have to do is join me, cast aside the Inquisition that only spurns you.”

Dorian shook his again. “I won’t.”

“I will take care of you, give everything to you.” Sethius’ voice was growing harder, rougher.

Unable to take it anymore, Dorian shot to his feet almost causing Sethius to tumble to the floor. “You will never have me because I know that I can change Tevinter and I can right the wrongs of my people. Even if every last resident of Skyhold wishes for me to hang, I will persevere until you are but the darkest stain on Tevinter history.” Dorian paused in his rant to really look at the man posing as his husband and felt sick when he realized who it was. “I will never join you, Corypheus.”

Sethius scowled at him and Dorian watched in disgusted fascination as his features melted and morphed into the one he knew was Corypheus’ true form. Dorian turned to look at the once beautiful dream to watch it too melt away. Rilienus and the other servants morphed into envy demons, the food turned to hunks of red lyrium and ash and for a horrifying second Dorian remembered being fed grapes from that very table.  His father, now a pride demon, loomed over two small despair demons. Aulus and Liana.

Dorian felt vomit at the back of his throat but swallowed it back down. He couldn’t take the time to do that now, he had to get out of this place. Face it later.

“I won’t give up, Dorian of House Pavus,” Corypheus said as Dorian backed away. “Every time you close your eyes, I’ll show you what you could have.” Dorian took another step back but Corypheus took one forward. “And every time I’ll ask you. I will win, and you will be at my side before too long. You cannot bare their words and actions much longer.”

And then the demons attacked.

 

 

A blood-curdling scream echoed throughout Skyhold, waking the residence and sending them into a panicked frenzy. Were they under attack? What was going on? But the screaming was soon choked off and more than one person thought death had taken the poor soul who had let out the noise.

Unfortunately for Dorian, death hadn’t come for him. That would have been easier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't just leave it like that, so I'm writing more of this. Be prepared for more angst before there's comfort!

Dorian felt the scream get caught in his throat and sputtered to try and quell the sudden coughing fit that took over his body. Tears streaked down his cheeks, probably pulling the kohl away from his eyes and down his face. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not now.

He remembered the beautiful children in his dream, Aulus and Liana. And he remembered how their faces morphed into the large jaws of the despair demon, how their little bodies withered and their skin pulled tight across their flesh. And his father, pride still his undoing. And the grapes that were heavy stones of red lyrium in his belly. And Seth- Corypheus.

He leaned over and proceeded to vomit, the contents of his stomach splashing against the stone. He was too far gone to see if there were any actual lyrium shards, but he _felt_ them. He felt them clinging to the walls of his stomach. Poisoning him from the inside. Just like his thoughts. Whether a delusion or not, he felt them.

Bringing a hand up he tried to wipe away the stomach acid that was clinging to his lips, but flinched when his hand got close to them. Corypheus, disguised as a handsome man or not, had kissed them. He remembered the feel of those lips on his. Delicate and hard all at once and he remembered how it felt. How it felt like love.

A fresh wave of vomit hit the puddle that was already there and Dorian shuddered. Disgusting. All of it. _Kaffas_ , he had wanted that so badly. Was it so bad to want to be liked, to be able to change his country, to want- that was always his problem though. His deadly sin, desire, temptation, all the variation of the word.  Maker, he was disgusting.

Dorian, tried to calm his breathing, but the shaking gasps echoed around him. He looked around him and noticed he’d fallen asleep in the library. Oh Maker, everyone probably heard him. They’d know. The _poor, evil Magister had a nightmare_? He could already hear the jeers and the snide comments that’d be thrown at him.

He had to leave, get back to his room, clean himself up. The vomit could be taken care of by a maid, right? He managed to wipe away at the vomit that had begun to crust on his chin and mouth, but it didn’t do much for his overall appearance. He knew he was shaking and his coloring must have been all wrong. If he didn’t move who would find him? Not Cole for once, the Inquisitor had taken the spirit with her along with Solas and Varric for some mission in the Hinterlands.

The Inquisitor. How could he face her knowing that he’d been so close to accept that distorted reality? She was his closest friend, especially now that Felix was dead, and he’d almost sentenced her to her death because he couldn’t resist his own desires being dangled in front of him.

But he had resisted. He had, right? But Corypheus had said that he wasn’t taking no for an answer, that he’d keep trying. Dorian felt like he should commend the ancient Magister on his stubbornness. He felt a hysterical laugh bubble up in his chest that quickly dissolved into sobs.

He couldn’t- he- What was he supposed to do now? Would it be safe for him to sleep? What if he gave away Inquisition secrets? He’d believed that the dream had been real until Corypheus had mentioned betraying the Inquisition. Could that still happen now that Dorian knew his tactics? Perhaps he could do something to remind himself that he was dreaming, like how he knew that when he dreamt of the fade and the demons tempted him he could resist them so easily.

But Corypheus was stronger, smarter, too different from the demons that were the embodiment of single feelings.  What was he going to do? Should he leave? But that’s what Corypheus wanted or at least similar to it. It was just-

“Dorian?”

The voice was soft and deep, the rasp of sleep still clinging to the vowels. Despite this, Dorian startled in his chair. He swiveled his head to stare at his sudden company. For a moment he feared he’d fallen back asleep, that Corypheus had taken up his disguise once more and was ready to attempt to pull Dorian to his side. But after a few blinks he took in the scarred upper lip and the flattened curls of the Commander. Dorian tried to say something, anything to break the heavy silence that was only broken by his sobs moments ago but all that came out was a whimper.

Cullen drew in a sharp breath and his brows furrowed. “Maker’s breath, Dorian what… What happened?” He asked, his voice tight.

Dorian shook his head, he couldn’t talk about this, he hadn’t truly processed it himself. “Nightmare,” Dorian said, no louder than a whisper.

“A nightmare?” Cullen sounded as incredulous as he expected him to sound.

Dorian hunched in on himself. “A… message of sorts,” Dorian curled further into himself, “from Corypheus.”

Any sleep that had remained in the Commander’s voice disappeared at the statement. “Corypheus? You received a message from Corypheus?”

Dorian gave a hysterical giggle. “A message might be too lax, I’ll admit. An offer would be more appropriate.” Not appropriate at all. It was wrong all wrong. “He- I- Sh-should I wait to explain it until everyone is here to hear this? I- I don’t know if I can say it more than once.”

Cullen stood awkwardly in front of his alcove, body tense as if ready for battle even when he was missing his armor. “Do- can I help you at all?”

It was a nice offer, he knew Cullen wasn’t comfortable with him yet. Tolerated him perhaps, had to if he was willing to play chess with Dorian, but not trusted. Never trusted. “Y-you don’t need to do that, Commander.” Dorian wiped at his mouth again, trying to clean himself up more. His immaculate moustache was probably a lost cause at the moment. “I’ll write a report right now so I don’t forget what… happened.” A lie, he wasn’t about to forget that. Not the sweet nothings whispered into his ear, the term of endearment rolling around his mouth like the hard candies sold in Minrathous. Or the feeling of two little bodies heavy in his arms, looking at him with adoration, the animated tales of their evening adventure echoing in his head. Or the nonchalant affection his father had given him. The sinking feeling in his gut as the dream rippled and mutated into a nightmare. Not the harsh slap at the reality of what his life with the Inquisition was like. Not-

“Dorian, are you listening?”

Dorian took a shuddering breath and nodded his head. “T-terribly sorry, Commander,” Dorian said. “I’m likely useless to you right now if I could just- I know how important it is to give you this information and I- of course I will, but I can’t- time. If I could just have some time, even a few moments, clean myself up. That’s- Just a little moment to collect myself, terribly sorry.”

Cullen shook his head and took a hesitant step forward. “That’s- Dorian, no, I was asking if you were alright.”

Dorian was silent for a moment, and felt the burning feeling in his eyes. _Kaffas_ , he didn’t want to cry anymore. It made him seem terribly weak. “I… No, not really.”

Cullen nodded his head absentmindedly, looking around the empty library. Dorian didn’t know whether the man was looking for a way to escape or what, but his brow was furrowed. “Should I bring you to anyone?”

It was an innocent enough question, but it just emphasized to Dorian how right Corypheus was. Who would even want to see him? And he said as such. “Who would want to see me, especially this late at night? I doubt anyone wants to be woken up to just spit on the ‘Tevinter Magister’ or throw insults, they do that enough when the sun’s out.”

Dorian didn’t think the Commander’s eyebrows could furrow more than they already were but they did. It wrinkled his brow and Dorian felt like the expression aged the man’s face at least ten years. “They still do that?” Cullen asked, voice a harsh whisper.

Dorian gave a bitter laugh and the dried tear tracks on his face pulled at his skin. “They never stopped, it’s not like anyone is trying to stop them from doing it, now are they?’

Cullen looked like he’d been slapped. He opened his mouth to speak, but shook his head. Silence stretched between them before Cullen cleared his throat. “The Iron Bull, can I get him?” Cullen asked.

Dorian thought of the loud Qunari who liked to tease him and throw friendly enough taunts. Who spoke of satisfying needs and then looked at Dorian pointedly. Who tucked Dorian into his bed when he’d thought Dorian was too drunk to give consent. Who cupped Dorian’s cheek with his large hands and devoured his mouth. Who was adamant about watchwords, no judgment cast if any of his bed partners said ‘Katoh.’ Who treated Dorian like he was a person, not afraid of him, even if he was a ‘vint and a mage. Before Dorian could talk himself out of it, he was nodding his head, his voice painfully small.

“Please.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I thought this was going to be the last chapter, but it probably needs one more, don't you think? Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Dorian sat in his chair, the stale scent of his own sweat drying against his clammy flesh and the bitterness of leftover stomach acid against his tongue. Loathe as he was to remain in the deplorable state he was in, he couldn’t get his legs to support his weight. They’d buckle under him after the first few steps and he wasn’t about to risk falling into the congealing puddle of vomit beside him.

Cullen had scurried away at some point, Dorian wasn’t really paying attention. Couldn’t really. His brain was on a loop, replaying the nightmare and what it meant for him, and the Inquisition. What was Corypheus really after? Was it the secrets of the Inquisition or was there some small part of the ancient Magister that wanted just Dorian? Dorian felt his stomach lurch at the quiet yearning he felt stir in him.

It was the novelty of it, he supposed. Being allowed to love freely in Tevinter and to have someone he could keep. Being a pastime fancy was okay, the sex was usually good enough and the touches, gentle or not, were solely his in those moments. But he was lonely. Those touches had grown distant, more fleeting as time went on. It emphasized that although he could want who he wished, he could not share love with them. There was always a better option, but he supposed some men liked the forbidden nature of claiming a Tevinter mage for a night. Or an hour before either Dorian let himself out or he was asked to leave.

The Iron Bull seemed to have started their… something along those lines. Sure, the Qunari spoke about Dorian having a taste for the forbidden but so did he, even if it was unknowingly. And although Dorian appreciated that the Iron Bull still welcomed him to sex whenever, he wasn’t about to delude himself into thinking that the open door policy was reserved to him alone. That would be silly.

Still, to have sunken so low as to even be willing, to want, Corypheus’ attention and desire directed at him? Perhaps his father hadn’t been entirely wrong with that ritual. No no no no that’s- no that would never be acceptable, ever.  

“Hey big guy.”

Dorian was startled once again from his thoughts, pulling in a deep rush of air that shocked his lungs. He glanced up and took in his visitor. The Iron Bull stood there with a bowl of water dwarfed in his hands and a little rag thrown over his shoulder. His harness was gone, but his brace was on and clinked as he took a step closer. Dorian felt comforted that Bull held no resemblance to Corypheus’ disguise, unlike Cullen whose pale skin and blue eyes had almost triggered a scream of terror.

“Bull,” Dorian said, his voice scratchier than he thought it’d be.

Bull took slow and measured steps toward him, like he was afraid that if he moved to quickly Dorian would scamper away like a startled fennec. And then he kneeled down, just as slowly, in front of him. In any other situation Dorian would have warned the man not to, he knew how Bull’s knee ached at times, but now he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Funny how he’d finally shut up like so many had wished it, but no one save Bull was here to appreciate it.

Bull placed the bowl on the floor beside him, dipped the rag in, and wrung it out. Bull lifted one of his large hands and gently cupped Dorian’s face. Cradled was a better word for it, so soft and kind. Dorian shuddered at the memory of Corypheus’ hands on his face, but Bull took everything slow and didn’t shrink away from Dorian’s shudder.

Bull slowly brought the rag closer to his face, but paused before he got to close. “I’m going to clean your face up a bit,” Bull said, his voice reminiscent of waves gently lapping against warn leather. “I’ll start with your eyes, then your cheeks and finally your mouth and chin.” He paused again and made sure to look Dorian in the eye. “If at any point you need me to stop so you can take a moment, you say ‘Katoh.’ The same rules apply here, that sound good?”

Dorian slowly nodded his head, and closed both his eyes when he felt the first dab of the rag against his left eye. The rag was softer than he expected, not unlike the handkerchief his mother had given him as a teenager. He wasn’t sure where Bull had found it, but it matched Bull’s gentle ministrations. As soon as Bull pulled the rag away from his eyes to dip it back in the bowl, Dorian opened his eyes. Bull was staring at him, expression open and comforting, not even glancing at the bowl he dipped the rag into.

Dorian didn’t think he deserved such a look directed at him at the moment and felt hot tears flood his eyes. He attempted to blink them away, but a few droplets fell but were quickly caught by the pad of Bull’s thumb. Bull murmured quiet reassurances as he continued to wipe at the mess on Dorian’s face.

The soft passes of the rag against his face soon came to an end with a final sweep through his moustache. Bull absentmindedly tossed the rag back into the bowl, unconcerned for the water that sloshed out onto the floor. Meticulously, Bull gently twisted the ends of his moustache into its usual shape and gave him a soft smile.

“There you are,” Bull said, his breath cool against Dorian’s drying skin.

Dorian gave him a watery smile back. “So it would seem,” he whispered.

Bull moved one of his hands and started lazily carding his fingers through Dorian's hair. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m not good with Fade crap, but perhaps I can do something.”

Dorian thought for a second before shaking his head. “I have to tell the inner circle tomorrow, I’ve already warned Cullen that I-I can only tell it once.” Dorian looked at Bull before looking away. “I-I’m sorry.”

Bull shook his head. “Cullen already warned me it was about Corypheus, so don’t worry about it.”

Dorian’s eyes shown with gratitude. “Thank you.”

“Is there anything I can do for you, just get your mind off it?”

Dorian thought for a moment. About the two solid weights in his arms that giggled and babbled epithets of wishful thinking he never thought he’d have. Of a father who saw as many reasons to be proud as he did when Dorian was a child. Of open acceptance and love. Of comforts he wanted but never had. Of deceitful hands wrapped around him, brushing lies and temptation against his skin. Had to get that out of his head, couldn’t-

“Can you just… hold me?” Dorian asked, his voice barely audible to his own ears.

Silence stretched and at first Dorian thought he’d asked for too much, but Bull finally gave him a smile, leaning their foreheads together. It was grounding and Dorian let out a shuddering breath.

“Let’s take this to my quarters, it’s easier if we’re laying down.”

Dorian nodded slowly and let Bull help him stand up. He wordlessly gestured to the bowl and vomit on the floor, but Bull shook his head.

“Someone has already been informed about it, don’t worry.”

When they reached Bull’s quarters, and Bull had stripped him down to his small clothes, they laid together on the bed. No words were shared between them, just the nonsensical mumbles in Qunlat that Bull said broke the silence of the room.

The disgust with himself and terror from the dream didn’t disappear, but settled heavy on his shoulders like a cloak. He knew tomorrow he’d have to relive it once more, but for now he focused on the large hands hot against his back and the thumping heartbeat beneath his cheek.

 

 

When dawn came, Dorian’s eyes were dry and he felt more world-weary than he had felt after he fled from Tevinter. At some point, Bull had fallen asleep his speech becoming slower and softer before it trailed off into silence. But Dorian still listened to the steady beat of the heart beneath his ear, focused on the rhythm and trying to slow his own down to match it. Funny, he finally spent the night.

He had to get up. Cullen liked having these sort of meetings early, before the clangor of the kitchens echoed through hallways, waking guests and fellow Inquisition members for breakfast. Before people roused themselves up to spread their latest piece of gossip before carrying on with their tasks.

He carefully extracted himself from the heaviness of Bull’s arm before gently shaking the man’s shoulder. Bull’s eyes flashed open and Dorian let his hand fall to his lap.

“The meeting will be starting soon,” Dorian said.

“You gonna be okay?” The Iron Bull asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

Dorian shrugged. “I suppose I’ll have to be.” He’d actually thought about his course of action for quite a while last night. He had to, least the dream continue to percolate uncontrollably in his head. He couldn’t close himself off from the Fade, that was out of the question, but he could take precautions to ensure that Corypheus wouldn’t be able to pull the wool over his eyes. He’d have to consult Solas, reluctant as he was, but the elf was an expert when it came to the Fade. “I’m going to figure it out.”

Bull grunted and gave him a steady look.   “You need anything and you talk to me, got it? You don’t have to deal with this by yourself.”

“Don’t I?”

Bull shook his head. “I can’t help with the demon shit, and Corypheus, well that’s more up the boss’ ally. But I’m here for _you_ , so if you need me, I’m there.”

Dorian shifted forward and placed a gentle kiss to the corner of Bull’s mouth. He didn’t dare go closer yet. “Shall we go?”

“Give us a second to get dressed, then we go.”

Dorian let out a shaky breath. “You wouldn’t happen to have any spare clothes, would you?”

Bull snorted. “That’d fit you? Not likely.”

“I thought not.” Dorian reluctantly picked up his robes from the night before. Looking at the cut reminded him to much of the black robes that’d hugged his frame in his dream. He dropped it to the floor and instead put on his breeches and the shirt he’d worn underneath his robes. It was sloppy, much like the rest of him looked, but he couldn’t put more effort into his appearance this morning. The inner circle would have to deal with his less than stellar appearance this morning.

Dorian turned to Bull who was dressed, efficient as always. With a nod of his head, Dorian walked toward the door. “Let’s get this over with.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, I've not been feeling well these past couple of weeks and then there was also Christmas and me and my sister's birthday and now it's the new year. But hopefully, you'll enjoy this last chapter!

He felt like a wisp as he and Bull approached the heavy door of the war room. Intangible, grasping at smoke to fabricate a mask to hide behind, but they slipped and disintegrated faster than Dorian could form them. There wasn’t a point really.

Bull gave him a reassuring look before knocking twice on the door and then pushed it open. Dorian made sure to hide his body behind Bull’s, a split second decision that he didn’t find himself regretting as the chatter of the inner circle members met his ears. Corypheus’ words had left nagging reminder about his fellow Inquisition members.

Sera’s obnoxious laugh, harmless now, but Dorian knew how often it turned cruel when it was turned to him. Blackwall’s grumbling about it being too early, Dorian could practically feel the glob of spit that had hit his cheek the other day. Josephine’s heavy accent mixing with Leliana’s, both of them tolerating him with only the minimum disdain, probably because he was from Tevinter. Cassandra and Cullen chatting, Dorian felt they were neutral enough. Safe enough. Vivienne only offered a few remarks, Dorian knew how much she enjoyed insulting his ideas of magic and himself to be honest. Solas and Varric were having a quiet discussion, one of them always scorning him no matter what he said and one who talked to him on occasion.

Dorian peaked around Bull’s arm slightly to see the Inquisitor. Cadash was a mellow dwarf, very levelheaded who enjoyed talking with Dorian. It was nice, though being friendly with the Inquisitor had only garnered him more hostility it seemed. That would leave-

“Heavy hands, lying lips touched my own,” Cole said. The talk around the room hushed as everyone listened to the spirit. “Children of my own, right but not right. Father loves me here, people like me here. I want but I can’t, not right. Stones heavy in my stomach, man morphs-” Cole paused and turned to look at Dorian who still stood behind Bull. “He got you, he hurt you, Dorian. You hurt but I don’t know how to help. I want to help, but I can’t.”

Dorian flinched at Cole’s words, not that anyone would have seen it, but it still made him feel trapped. He felt like he couldn’t get away, every second just a flashback to what Corypheus had shown him.

“What’s that thing blathering on about?” Sera asked, crossing her arms.

Cadash cleared her throat. “I’d like to know too,” she said.

Dorian thought about staying behind Bull, hiding away from their eyes, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t suddenly make everything alright if he hid from it. So he took a deep breath and took a wary step away from Bull. Instantly he felt colder, less stable, like he’d become a boat rocking hazardously on the choppy waves of the Storm Coast. His hand clenched at air, searching for something to ground him and breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers brushed against Bull’s arm.

“Dorian, are you alright?” Cadash asked, her eyebrows drawn together in concern. Cadash was a wonderful woman, and Dorian didn’t know what he’d done to get her approval, no matter how slight it may be.

He thought about throwing a quip back, something witty and sarcastic with the usual flair he had, but all that came out was a quiet little “no.” He felt their eyes measuring him up, but he couldn’t find the energy to try and pretend he was fine. Not this time.

“Shite, Fancy-breeches, the hell happened to you?” Sera asked.

He felt his shoulders droop. What happened indeed. “There’s no point stalling so I’ll get down to it,” Dorian said, glancing at the group briefly before settling on the stone underneath his feet. “Corypheus came into my dream last night.”

A few faces blanched while others looked confused.

“A nightmare?” Cassandra asked, though she didn’t sound convinced.

Dorian gave a mirthless chuckle. “If only it had been, I could have handled a nightmare.” Probably, there really was no telling when he was in such a state.

Solas hummed softly. “Perhaps if you explained we could understand what happened. It isn’t often that you hear of another entering your dreams, not without plenty of practice.”

Dorian slowly nodded his head. “Right, yes, that’s- of course, may I…” He gestured to the floor which garnered him a few bewildered looks. When Cadash nodded her head, Dorian practically collapsed to the floor, his body listing to the side. He told himself it was because he was overwhelmed and not because Bull was right there, a solid weight against his shoulder. “Right, so to start, I discovered Corypheus’ real name yesterday.”

“So he was a real person,” Blackwall mumbled.

Dorian let out a small hysterical laugh. “Quite real. His name was Sethius,” he tried to block out the images of the man from his dreams, “an ancient magister. He can be traced to a particular family in Tevinter who we should contact. Spreading a few rumors could help Corypheus lose some of his support.”

Leliana nodded. “I’ll get my agents on that right away,” Leliana said.

“Good, that’s… very good, thank you.” Dorian took a deep breath and continued. “When I feel asleep last night, I dreamt of him.”

“Of Corypheus?” Viviene asked, a perfectly groomed eyebrow creeping up her forehead.

Dorian bowed his head. “Not exactly, you see I didn’t dream of Corypheus per say, but of Sethius.” He took a shuddering breath. “At first, I couldn’t tell that anything was wrong, it felt so real,” Dorian’s voice grew softer. “It felt real.”

“What did he do?” Cullen asked. The commander was no doubt anxious to hear what Dorian had seen in his dream, especially since Cullen was the one who found him first.

“He disguised himself, warped his features into the image of a handsome man. And then he started showing me what I could have, what I wanted. I didn’t know it was fake and it didn’t connect that the Sethius I was being tempted by was Corypheus. But he showed me… things.” An adoring husband, beautiful children, a loving father, people who liked him. The last thought made him wince.

“They smile like seeing you brightens their day, kind words, happy, whole, heartfelt. They want to talk to you, friendly, finally friendly,” Cole said, looking at Dorian with large unblinking eyes. “Married, not to the fairer sex, but no one cares. Tevinter has changed, no more slaves, poverty gone, and it’s thanks to you. Beloved, adored as something precious. Even Father loves me. Children, two little ones of my flesh and blood, an impossibility made possible.” Dorian feels his shoulders hunch more and more as Cole continues and feels the tears start to build in his bloodshot eyes. “But what affects you the most is that everyone likes you, that insults are not tucked away in open speech and spit doesn’t purposely hit you. He tells you how the Inquisition will never accept you, not like he would, not like the new world under his command would. Many little things that’ve left you scared, scarred, scattered. You fear that what he said is true.”

Dorian takes another shuddering breath. “Yes,” he said, voice cracking over the short word.

Cole wide-eyed look turns crestfallen and he sees the same look in Cadash’s eyes as well. He sees Blackwall send him a downcast look, perhaps the Grey Warden does feel bad for his actions, or maybe he feels guilty because those actions now have consequences. Sera is doing some angry furrowing of her eyebrows, like she doesn’t know if she’s mad at Dorian, the situation, or herself. You never really know with Sera.

“Well, shit,” Varric muttered, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Didn’t think Corypheus could do something like that.”

Dorian shrugged. “Neither did I,” he whispered. Large hands gently card through his hair, soothing his fraying nerves. The Iron Bull always knew how to help, always knew exactly what Dorian needed.

“Why did he try to tempt you, though?” Cassandra asked.

He gave her a look. “Why wouldn’t you go after someone who knows about everything that’s going on, but is openly disdained by the majority of the Inquisition? It’s a solid plan.” Their faces pinched and the air grew uncomfortable, but it wasn’t a false statement. Anyone with eyes could see how Dorian was treated, unless they continued to turn a blind eye to it. Again.

“We- we can fix this, right?” Cadash asked, that crestfallen look had only become gloomier as time went on. “Solas?”

“The Fade is an ever changing place, it is likely that we can stop it from happening again,” Solas said.

Josephine scratched notes as they started making plans on how to prevent Corypheus from entering Dorian’s dreams. “If you need anything special, I can contact some of our allies and see what they can provide us with,” she said calmly.

Dorian really didn’t know what to make of the suddenly animated scene of people trying to come up with a way to keep Corypheus out of his head. Hadn’t most of them not liked him just the day before? And he said as such, in what he could only hope wasn’t meekly. The group didn’t grow quiet like before, but Bull heard him and the large man knelt down and gently cupped Dorian’s face, ignoring Dorian’s protest about hurting his knee.

“Dorian,” Bull said, before shaking his head. “Kadan,” the word sent a small shiver up Dorian’s back, “we care about you, maybe some more than others, yeah, but we care. In our own ways we care. Sure some of us don’t show it and I know that it’s bothered you more than anyone probably intended, but know this: you’re not alone.” Bull’s thumb slowly brushed along the apples of his cheeks where Dorian assumed tears had fallen. “As long as I’m here, you’re not alone. We’ll kick Corypheus’ ass, don’t you worry.”

Dorian let out a wet laugh and leaned his face into Bull’s touch. He wasn’t going to have another meltdown, not now, but knowing someone- that they all cared even if was just a little, helped.

He wasn’t better, not fine. But he wasn’t alone, and he’d be damned if he didn’t fight to keep himself safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed reading this and I cannot thank you enough for sticking with this fic until the end. *gives you all a plate of cookies and a glass of milk* If you have time, I would really appreciate it if you could leave a comment. It doesn't have to be long, but I'd love to know if you all liked it or wanted something more from this last chapter. Thank you all once again :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Let me know if you'd like to read companion's (specific or not) reaction to Dorian's dream/the state he's in at the end of this.
> 
> If you have any prompts you'd like me to take a shot at, send them to [cakelanguage](http://cakelanguage.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!


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